Hilarious dating headlines

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Jake describes picking his date up in his Kia Sorento with lit candles in the car.He even writes out the banter: “You go, ‘…Is that dangerous?Her About section is a little more informative, but not in the way most daters want. Hey, if you have a genuine six-pack (or the ability to photoshop one), Tinder users deserve to know.“A little-known fact is that I cover 40% of Africa,” she wrote. The result is a comical portrayal of himself carrying puppies out of a burning animal shelter. What I enjoy most about Reid in this picture is his look of sincerity.Some bored person on the web created a Zoosk profile for Superman. In the Story section, the comic book superhero explains, “Long story but let’s just say you better be ready for a love affair that’s out of this world.” Under movies, Superman writes, “Action. His perfect match has alliteration in her name, and his ideal date is anything not involving Kryptonite.No word on whether Lois Lane has a profile of her own yet. Take it away, Sydney: “The only reason I want a boyfriend is so that when I’m singing Fergalicious and it’s at the part where she says, ‘I be up in the gym just workin on my fitness he’s my witness’ I can point to him and he’ll do the little ‘woo OOH’ part because right now I have to do both parts by myself and it’s stressful.” Sydney makes them boys go loco.“I pull out a bag of marshmallows and I go, ‘No, I knew this was gonna happen.’ And then I kiss you.

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According to Ok Cupid’s data crunchers, “Men’s photos are most effective when they look away from the camera and don’t smile.” And then there’s his one-sentence About section: “I’m banking on your standards being a lot lower than mine.” Playful, self-deprecating, and original.Reluctant online dater dont_email_me lives in Texas, and he is very clear about what type of woman he wants: “If I can’t bounce a quarter off your inner thigh, hit the gym, not the ‘send’ button.” Charming.“Okay, here’s the thing,” dont_email_me wrote in his self-summary, “I receive tens of thousands of emails a day and I can’t possibly take the time to read all of them. All I know is, please don’t send me an email if we aren’t at least 100% match and 0% enemies.” Message received. Savanah, age 22, is a mystery wrapped in an enigma. Her picture shows her leaning against the railing of a bridge with sunglasses covering her eyes. Not a lot of skin showing and no clues to her personality.’ and I go, ‘Yes — but I like danger.'” Then the romantic evening takes a turn for the ludicrous.“We come outside and we see my car’s on fire,” Jake continues.

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